Escaping the Rat Race

Gloom, Despair, Joy.

2009-09-22T00:34:00.009Z

It'a 12:35 am.
I should be snoring in bed.
Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up unamused.
So not looking forward to work.
Boring old mantra.
I've whined about that a lot today.
Not good, not good;
Here come the quitting blues.
Damn tired of quitting now.
So this outta be the very last.

And here I am with an empty belly
And an uncreative mind...

And then you get to a point in life
This point in life
When you cease to want
You cease to desire
That's what Ghana does to you,
But then again it's life,
It's life that does you in.

Something has happened to me.
I'm not wanting anymore.
I'm not even afraid of not wanting anymore.
I'm just not wanting anymore.
It's like a man looking into the eyes of that beautiful dream girl
And not feeling the passion that comes with desire.
What happened?
Don't you want her?
Aren't you attracted?
What happened?
Oh damn, what the heck happened?

I never get the things I desire.
And so I've crushed desiring.
I let opportunities roll happily by;
And gaze away from lovely dreams,
Knowing the whole while I'd die for a taste.

But you see,
It's like this:
When they know,
I don't get.
When they don't know,
Then I get, oh but wait,
Not always, not always.

Unleashing my desires,
Kills all of theirs.
A country of contradictions.
My world of opposing forces and magical dreams.
And so I quell these lustful eyes.
And tone this silly, passionate heart,
And let the dream believe I'm dead.
Oblivious of their tasty lure.

And I've said this above.
Sometimes they get the hook
And pursue some more.
But then sometimes shit happens:
And shy dreams float unhappily away;
Or dreams play peek-a-boo!
And bliss is lost to me.

I'm hungry I need a meal.
Too lazy, I'll let it slide.
There's something awefully wrong with me.
I just don't know what it is.
But I've stopped desiring
Because of denying
And I've become a silly old bore.

I Hate (emos) Ghanaian Men

2009-09-12T11:03:00.005Z

Emos Ghanaian men,
Nothing makes them happier
Than to piss a strong woman off.
Insecure rumbling, fumbling fools!
So do you give them the pleasure?
Sure.
It sets you free too. Or no?

The complexity is this:
When Mr. Ghanaian Man,
The Eternal Idiot,
Tries to piss me off
By exercising his superiority
I tune off.

I've mastered this skill well.
I tune off. No singal.
So he can't reach me.
He can't tell whether he's getting to me or not.
He starts to guess, by the indifferent expression on my face...
Is she angry? Have I succeeded?
Am I being stupid? Do I know what I'm dealing with?
No you don't Mr.

You don't know that as you fool,
I watch you, I play along,
All the time picking your cues
Figuring out your game.
Once I figure your game. (and that's always easy)
I wait for the opportunity.
Even better, I create the opportunity.
Then I play you back.

And I play hard
I play unfair.
I make you pay for all the shitty moments and more.
Oh yes, I make sure to leave my evil mark on you,
So you don't forget.
So you don't come near me again. Ever.

And if you so much as do,
That will be your last, Mr. Ghana-man.
Your last time of messing with a woman.
A woman like me!

One Chance to Mess with Me

2009-09-12T10:57:00.004Z

When you feel the tears building up in the office,
Turn the emotional tap off.
It's not a fair world.
We all know this.
But you must only give people
One chance to mess with you.
One chance and that's it.
And this promise I swear solemnly to myself:
I WILL NEVER GO INTO ANYONE'S EMPLOYMENT
AFTER I QUIT THIS JOB IN DECEMBER, 2009.
Mark this date.

Two Disrespectful Pimples

2009-08-17T02:12:00.004Z

Two disrespectful pimples
squatting contentedly on
my left temple,
refuse to budge to my pressure
to pop and ease out of their cocoons.
And there they sit a-swollen,
and as painful as a pinch!

I Got Money

2009-08-17T01:52:00.002Z

And if I was rich and bored and sad,
I'd call an escort service tonight,
the classiest there ever was in town,
and ask for the best they've got.

I'd say i didn't care a hooting lot
if the person was male or not.
I'm just in need of good looks and wit.
And then I'd pay for whatever
and open my doors to whoever,
and point them straight to my bar.

And then I'd watch them make us drinks
and ask them to tell me about them.
And if they were smart,
they'd look at me and ask:
What do you want to know?
And I'd say Everything there is to know.

And if they were interesting talkers,
I'd pace and listen to their chatter.
If they turned out to be such complete bores,
I'd cut it short,
pay them their due
and kick them outta ma house.

A spade is a spade is a digging tool

2009-08-17T01:48:00.002Z

I do not look at people
who expect me to look at them
I gaze at those who don't.

I'm nice to those who are nice to me
and mean to those I hate.

I Just Don't Care

2009-08-17T01:43:00.004Z

And when the men pass by me
and look at me
trying to catch my pretty eye,
I switch the lively look
for a dead pan glare,
that says
approach this witch
if you dare.
And watch with glee
as they check their pace
and walk the other way.
Ooo, I'm so bad it's sad.

The Cat in Me

2009-08-16T23:59:00.008Z

As I sit here
Smoking away,
I hope it pisses the Ghanaian men off,
And makes them think
I'm such a whore;
And makes them boil within.

As I sit here smoking,
One cigarrette stick after another,
I hope the Ghanaian women
Who watch with disdain,
Get the smoke in their beady eyes.
A matter of slashing my nose
To spite my face...
So what?
If it pisses them off?

When I smoke,
It's my lungs that get destroyed;
Those poor weak things.
It's my teeth that dirty up;
My beautiful creamy set!
It's my clothes that get the smell
And drives the huggers away.

But as long as it pisses you off...
And makes you judge me like hell,
I'll just keep right on,
Puffing my life away.
It's my business.
What's your mouth doing in it?

Secondary smoking?
Cage me.

That Ghanaian guy
Who cannot accept my smoking,
Will, in a heartbeat,
Marry a smoking chimney of a Brit.
Money matters you say?
Shit matters, if you please.
This Ghanaian lady
Sneaking glances and judging,
Will gladly say I do
To a cigar smoking tycoon.

So screw culture.
And screw tradition.
I'll do what works for me
As long as it works.
And if that pisses you off too...
Well, then ! you too.

Brains and Noses

2009-08-16T20:10:00.003Z

As a child,
I loved the smell of cigarrette smoke
loved the smell of rain on dust
the smell of fuel fumes
and the fried kelewele smell

Then I grew older
and change became constant
but my nose remained the same

And I still love the smell of cigarrette smoke
love the smell of rain on dust
love the smell of petrol
and the tasty smell of frying kelewele

Lights

2009-08-15T19:32:00.002Z

The lights are on outside the house,
But off inside my head.
I need to go out and get me some rum;
This obssession with alcohol , I have.

Understanding Me

2009-08-15T18:16:00.003Z

Now, you know that's not possible. What's not possible? Getting to understand my simple complexity. But what's possible, is me sharing one of my many outlines with you. As always, it's all about me.

I Value:

Intellectual Achievements
Logic
Competency

I find Joy in:

Personal Achievement
Ideas
Meeting Challenges

My personal Strengths:

Confidence
Logical
Problem-solver

To thrive and give of my best, I need:

Autonomy
Truth & Facts
Accuracy

I am constantly frustrated by:

Unfairness
Incompentence
Nonsense Rules

At Work I am conceptual and an independent thinker. For me work is play. I am drawn to constant challenge in career, and like to develop models, explore ideas, or build systems to satisfy my need to deal wth the innovative. Once I have perfected an idea, I prefer to move on, leaving the project to be maintained and supported by others

In Love I prefer to let my head rule my heart. I dislike repetition, so it is difficult for me to continuously express my feelings. I believe that once feelings are stated, they are obvious to a partner. I am uneasy when my emotions control me. I want to establish a relationship, leave it to maintain itself, and turn my energies back to my career. But I am also flexible if I realise my partner is not the perfection I seek; well, so long as the compensation in other forms are worth it.

In childhood I was older than my years and focused on my greatest interests, achieving in subjects that were mentally stimulating. I was impatient with drill and routine, questioned authority, and found it necessary to respect teachers before I could learn from them.

It has not been easy coming this far; but it has not been boring either. I've had a lot of fun, thrills and sorrow on this life journey of mine. I don't know how much more I've got to go, but I sure hope this road I'm on leads to excitingly fun times!

Another Ordinary Day

2009-08-15T17:33:00.005Z

I miss my ex today.
But how can I think like this?
That guy was such a fool!
The connection was so confused.
For he just had to mess it up.
But I do miss him today.

Sweet Ed saw his handsome face,
And cried Dear God! He's Big!
And then he looked respectful,
And Ilaughed, I had to laugh.

Of course his place was filled.
2 weeks after goodbye.
But I couldn't stand this one.
He churned such idiotic words,
And drove me up the wall.
I had to let him go.
I had to save my mind!

And then there was a second.
My repulsion just marred my soul.
I need a bottle of rum.
Dear God, what to do with myself.

I Did Not Use Him

2009-08-05T00:13:00.002Z

I used him.
But I was never going to admit to that.
He asked me:
Baby, did you use me?
No, I said.
Why would I want to do that?
But I used him.
I needed a fix.
He was available.
I used him.

Maybe I'm Not in Love With You

2009-08-04T23:48:00.003Z

"Maybe I'm not in love with you," he said.

"I am not in love with you either," I replied.

"Oh well, let's just be friends then, " he answered.

God I hate this guy. We'd argued the night before and I left his house in "anger" at 1:00am. He let me go. The wimp. I deleted him.

And then the next day he wanted to talk. I was impressed by his first move. I restored him. But then he whined about something and I said to him:

When I have an argument with a guy, a fight, a quarrel, I do not appologise. I am the immature one in these situations. I lash out; I hit hard and then I wait for the consequences. Whatever they are I will accept them. But when the guy comes around all apologetic and damn mature, even when we both know it was all my fault, the icicles are melted by the glow of admiration that engulfs me from his act. And then he wins. And then I'm easy.

I like a guy to be crazy and cool. Not a sneaky, whiny bastard who's so into the who's-right-and-who's-wrong-I-must-dominate bull. I am right no matter what, so deal with it. You be mature and let me learn from you! Finito!

The Sex Rat

2009-08-01T19:17:00.007Z

She's sexing a Rat.
What is wrong with women?!
A Rat.
Ratty look,
Ratty mind,
Ratty attitude.
Ratty Rat with a puny stick!

She'd rather sex the Rat
Than be alone.
Pleasure yourself woman!

She let the good dude go.
And her heart followed his vanishing behind.
Twas a mistake.
Twas too late.
But not for Rat.
He saw the hole,
And slipped in fast.
She let him stay...
And there he goes a-ratting away.

And behind her emeralds,
A manic desire engulfs,
To slap the fool to scatterred oblivion.

Oh woman self bound,
Just aim a mighty kick at that ratty bum bum,
And up, silly samersault, out and away he goes!

Mouse Alert!

2009-08-01T18:35:00.003Z

There's a mouse in my room!
An ugly disgusting thing.
Ugh!

A mouse in my room?
Unheard of!
The sight of it...
eek!

Jumped out of my underwear bag,
On a naughty night.
Scuttled over my hands (yuk!)
Vapourised behind my frigidaire.
Made me shriek and shake with repulsion.

Yei! A mouse! A mouse!
There! There!
Vanished.
We combed the room
And thought him gone.
I settle in to chill and there it is!

Heads & Tails

2009-08-01T14:59:00.004Z

I'm bad.
I'm so bad.
And she oughta kick my arse!
Lock me in a room...
Whip some sanity into my coconut of a head.

So I go and tell her,
Don't you go scattering ya Focus.
Stick to one.
Make it work.
Make it Glow.
Dat's de way.
Dat's de best.

Den I go and scatter all me Focusses.
I scatter dem aplenty.
I scatter dem good.
Den I come all confused
And jittery and iky.
Den I wan escape;
I wan flee.

Me cry.
Me cry 'cos me so darn bored,
Tired, worn.
And something's gotta give.
Dis Life: what the hell is going on?!

Escorts! Escorts!

2009-07-31T11:23:00.005Z

Escorts! Escorts!
Be all about it!

Gay?
Straight?
Bisexual?
Be all about it.
Old or young?
Fat or skinny?
We're all about you!
Oh, by the way,
We are a non-sexual service.

Our clients,
Are big shot rich,
And steaming hot!

We're safe,
We're fast,
And best...
We're damn discrete!

Come join the fun.
Just sign here,
Any pay there,
Voila!
Welcome!

Yes, Sweet Panties,
Welcome to the discrete,
The untraceable,
And the sexiest scam on the block!

My Chez Lien

2009-07-30T15:34:00.007Z

I remember you, Chez Lien.
It has taken me this long
But I remember.
How you craddled and comforted,
How you provided and protected,
My Chez Lien!

You took us in when no one could;
Not our homes,
Not our lovers,
Not our friends,
Not the others.
My Sweet Chez Lien!

How I wish you were my daily affair,
How I wish I didn't miss you;
Your touch,
Your kiss,
Your care.
My Chez Lien!

You took root in me,
And rose from within,
Little nourishment,
Unconscious guilt,
Delightful pleasure.

Months come and months go,
You seeded, you grew,
you blossomed, you glowed.
You did it for me, for us.

My Sweet Chez Lien,
My Sweet Secret.

Tonight A threesome! In the dark!
Man, Prostitute, Man.
Crazy Naija and I,
We followed.
Thrilled, excited, curious.
Fun, intriguing, awakening.
They led me to you,
My Sweet Secret Chez Lien...

My memories flood my head.
They told me this:
He looked at you like no other,
He spoke to you like no other,
They knew him, when I was blind.

My memories sing him to me.
The wind served his touch,
Light, loving,
Enveloping me in his sweet shy heart...

He came to me
On a night when I sought him not
Knelt by my side, arms around me.
Kissed me,
Feather on my cheek.
It was just us.
My lover diffused,
The others vapoured out.
Just us.

I was his soul desire;
And the music played,
And we danced,
And our wine watered within.

His eyes sought mine,
My lips found his,
Seated, our souls merged,
In heat, in passion, in pleasure.

I sought the eternal kiss,
The eternal bliss

Desire rolled through veins,
Passion fought hunger,
Seeking to end the search.
Unfair Life declined.

Memories swirling behind eyeballs,
Gentle winds present his essence,
Such sweetness.
Tenderness...
Warmth...
What Romance.

My Chez Lien,
You made me fall tonight.
A fall not meant to be.
A dream that died.

A Bloody Movie

2009-07-30T15:13:00.003Z

A new force,
A new power,
Unlike any you have ever experienced before,
Will plunder you to death.

For canines to feed,
The dogs must feed,
Feed on the dead,
Feed on the poisoned,
Feed on your flesh,
Feed on rot,
Feed till they die.
We die.

We get to the beginning,
We die to start over.
We die to die.

Naughty Little Girl

2009-07-30T11:00:00.003Z

I'm a naughty little girl,
Thinking naughty little thoughts,
Planning naughty little things,
Doing naughty little acts,
Such a naughty little girl!

Goodbye Blues

2009-07-16T17:13:00.002Z

We have to part,
We knew this before,
And now it is here,
Goodbye.

Your love was beautiful,
Sweet, charming, sexy...
Stressful, confusing, crazy.

But then it got boring,
You got lazy,
You got distant,
You got selfish,
You got mean;
You left,you run.

Then you came back.
Charming your way back;
Charming the love back;
Charming a friendship;
You won.
I let you win.
It feels good now.

And we are friends
And we care.

I will miss you,
But time will tell.
You say,
You will miss me.
And I wonder,
Why now?
Because it's safe?
Because it's goodbye, forever?

So we eat.
We talk.
We drink.
We love.
We hug.
We kiss;
We hug again.

Then we goodbye;
I goodbye forever,
You goodbye with a dream.
You care.
Is it me you want to spare?
You shoot reality in the heart.
Don't.
Just goodbye me forever.
It's real,
It's true.

Stay happy,
Stay safe,
Bye-Bye, my Baby,
Twas a thrill knowing you.
Bye-bye my love
You lasted longer than most,
And you ended well.

My Lucky Love,
Farewell.

Michael Jackson

2009-07-07T23:47:00.020Z

I'm taking Advantage.

His name,
Will draw you to me.

No he ain't my god.
He's Jackson;

Legend,

Phenomenon,

Culture,
Era.

Fanciest feet,
Famed twice.
King of pop,
Black to white.

Love him.
Ignored him.
Doubted him.
Forgot him.
Joseph Jackson!

Moon walking,

Smooth walking,

Toon walking,
Pro!

Sang like a STAR
Danced like a STAR
Lived like a STAR
Died like a STAR

Amazed me,

Shocked me,

Impressed me.
Touched me.
My MJ.

The people.
Love you,

Hate you,

Adore you.
You god?

You gave;
You took;
You helped;
You died.
Jackson!

Skin disease,
Really?
Your babies,
White. Why?
Broken nose,
Ahem!

Still,
I liked you,
Revered you,
Salute you.

Michael...
So Gone.
So Dead.
So Bye,
Mike.

By his death Michael Joseph Jackson
has become a lasting memory. A Legend. May he R.I.P.P.

He's Hot!

2009-07-03T17:27:00.003Z

He's blazing!
Sexy,
Nice,
Damn!
And there I go again,
Swooning like a fool.

Ooo but he's so hot!
Gosh is he sexy,
And damn,
Am I swooning.
Bubbling,
Stumbling,
Mumbling,
Crooning,
Fooling.

Face like Adonis,
Body like a god,
My God!
Am I hooked!

Piercing eyes,
Dipping brows,
Melting Smile,
Freaking hot!
Damn, I'm doomed.

How can he look so mmmm?
Or are my eyes too loose?
Or me heart too easy?

I enter the space,
And spot him one time.
He looks my way,
And my mind goes zap!
He smiles at me,
And this heart goes goo-goo-gaa-gaa.

Hell, I'm silly,
But damn he's HOT!

Women

2009-06-27T11:24:00.002Z

I think I want to read,
Read that book again;
The one,
The one about women,
Women of shapes
Women of sizes
And types and hairs
And natures
Women and Alcohol
The glorification of liquor
Liquor on the mind,
Liquor on the soul,
A heartless soul.
Men.
Some men,
They never learn,
Do they?